Mayor Artie Lange has his hands full as chaos reigns in Hoboken, New Jersey. Traffic lights are blinking deep red and beeping out the People’s Union Republic of China national anthem. Money litters the streets as ATMs and Bitcoin machines spit out the entire contents from their cash drawers. Shockingly, digitized storefront billboards are all flashing odd products and running state-sponsored news direct from Beijing.
Under the cover of a calamitous prison riot, interplanetary soma kingpin, Alexander “Umbra” Lenza, walked right out of the 162173 Ryugu penal colony last night, through an oxygenated, well lit, professionally dug tunnel.
480 competitive yachtsman were eaten by sharks in Europa’s cold steely waters early this morning, putting a halt to this year’s annual Iceberg Run 750 taking place off the coast of Clipper Mission City.
Sulfuric acid rain patters on my anti-corrosive windows. I wake up to the smell of a full course 3D printed breakfast popping itself out of the wall. Branson’s latest gamble on Venus is paying off big, and providing a marvelous Venusian vacation destination.
Paris is reeling from massive waves of humanity emerging from a glowing red inter-dimensional portal in the middle of Champ de Mars. The Eiffel Tower is currently closed and the whole world watches as more and more people spill from the portal.
I did learn Kurtz produces more tonnage of beans than any 4 Viceroys combined, and he drinks exclusively XX12-FRENCH~R74 SMALL BATCH coffee.
Robot on the street report:
Under intense pressure from the NZ Blitz, Sydneysiders have another nightmare to deal with, The Tripper Ripper, the LSD dosing serial killer targeting the city’s young women.
Embedded with Benjamin
Luddite terror groups attacked, and sought to occupy Philadelphia’s Independence Hall amidst this mornings busy rush hour, launching homemade Molotov cocktails and using old fashion bolt action rifles to storm the historic landmark.
Adler froze in front of a growling metal beast, a robotic police dog, accompanying a small squad of L.A.P.D officers patrolling the Gilbert Plaza transit station.
The Hoover Dam’s energy creation is now done solely by smashing antimatter into matter, providing more power than ever humanly possible.
Suffering the worst congestion, and being most heavily reliant on automated labor, Milan was hardest hit by the Union’s strike.
Vive la révolution on the old vertical farm. Rebel cows have also taken over 200 farmhands and robotic laborers hostage.
Captain Thompkins only agreed to be interviewed while flying. So, I signed some waivers, and found myself in the passenger seat of his cloud seeding Osprey. Accepting all the risks that came along with the ride, I’ve got the first pilot to report on America’s geo-engineering effort to combat the Southwest’s Mega-drought of the century.
Tent flaps clattered in the wind as an orange dusk settled over Hercules avenue in downtown Copernicus yesterday evening.
At approximately 24:20 hours on Caligula 16th, Mars federal police hovered to a knife attack at 857 Dr. Manhattan Avenue, in the shade of the gigantic Dow Chemical Red Planet Building.
Linus Mallard III… “This shining new city, on a Martian plain, will be subsumed by the aging and greedy governments still controlling Earth.”
“Pitching is the art of instilling fear,” and with a slight facial twitch he continued on to say, “A guy that throws what he intends to throw, that’s the definition of a good pitcher. And yeah it was a good game, but I just went out there and did as programmed.”
Gliese 1214b: The crisp blue waters, the towering waves with their gnarly sodium acetate trihydrate whitecaps, and the red dwarf sunset are all impressive to the human eye.
Editorials & Etc…
Jesse Omega Owens
John.A.I Walker Black