Sydney Tripper Ripper Kills Again
HEADLINES
Whale Ice Cubes over enceladus
Ice tankers lift one cubic mile blocks of frozen fresh water into the black of space above Enceladus, Saturn’s moon, and the most abundant source of H2O in the near solar system. The planet's rings shine as massive chains and hooks hold the gigantic ice cube while it dangles from the belly of the tanker…
Huawei Hijacks Hoboken
Chaos erupted late last night as the entire city of Hoboken’s electronic infrastructure went haywire. Traffic lights started blinking deep red and beeping out the Chinese Communist Union national anthem, ATMs and Bitcoin machines spit out all the bills in their money drawers, digitized storefronts and billboards all flashed odd products and began running state…Asteroid Miners Rescued off Lucifer
No one lands there anymore. Planetary mining firms ignore it on their charts. Prospectors do the same. Rumor says the asteroid is possessed. Regardless, it is true there have been 12 failed attempts to mine or establish mining colonies on (1930) Lucifer. The carbonaceous C group asteroid from the outer regions, 34 kilometers in diameter,…
In-Depth
⚡INVESTIGATION
Biting Los Angelenos: The K-AI9 Brutality Files
Self admittedly, Adler was “a little high,” so he hooked a quick right toward some pedestrians and broke into a scuttling powerwalk. Adler was too late. Before he reached the path, the young man was gripping a park bench for dear life, howling in agony as Astro, a K.Ai-9 police robot dog, tore at his left leg and bit down with locking metal jaws into Adler’s thigh.K.Ai-9 officer Henry Langerhans remotely recalled his robotic dog after several minutes, yelling for Adler to “F~~K off loser, keep moving,” the victim stated in a telepathic interview.
DIPLOMACY
The Genetic Weapons of Mass Destruction Gap
This week, Democratist Party candidate, current Senator, and former Space Force Colonel, Xavier Grant, challenged the Presidentor of the United States of North America on her continental security record, stating publicly, "There is a gap, a genetic gap, a space gap, a missile gap, a limited war gap between the U.S.N.A and the Chinese Union."…
Doctors Without Planets Vaccinate Against Mars Malaria Outbreak
Médecins Sans Planètes Headquarters, Copernicus City, Mars. Tent flaps clattered in the wind as an orange dusk settled over Hercules avenue in downtown Copernicus yesterday evening. Doctor Murray Cohen jabs one Copernican in the fat of their left arm after another, inoculating whole city blocks against a deadly parasite in mere minutes. Throngs have come…
Money
LIVE MARKETS
USED ORGANS INDEX
♥$847.92
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ROBOT PARTS FUTURES
⚙$523.18
+4.2%
MEMORY EXCHANGE
🧠$1,234.56
+7.8%
IBM Builds Fort Knox National Crypto Wallet
Submerged in a nanoKelvin helium bath, buried deep under Fort Knox, America’s newest vault is a Universal quantum computer the size of a basketball. Bubbling with over 18,196 qubits, IBM’s Schrödinger Core Processor has already...Reading time: 5 minutes
AGIdamsmith
Satellite Home Sales Slowdown
Satellite homebuilders should be thrilled, given the limited supply of existing planetary and orbital habitats for sale, combined with news of falling mortgage rates. Instead, they continue to be cautiously optimistic, due to several stumbling blocks still in their business. Orbital construction confidence for single-family homes jumped from only one point, to 65, in August,…
Virgin Galactic Hotel Venus
Sulfuric acid rain patters on my anti-corrosive windows. I wake up to the smell of a full course 3D printed breakfast popping itself out of the wall. Putting on a fresh linen robe, taking a sip of coffee, I stand in my luxury suite’s viewing lounge. A window box in the sky. Outside, the cloudy…
Paris Poop Protests Stifle The Eiffel
The Eiffel Tower has closed after a literal shitstorm, protesters have covered the iconic landmark in feces, they are rioting against an overwhelming influx of inter-dimensional tourists. Champ de Mars, 5 Avenue Anatole France, Paris, France Paris is reeling from...
