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Hoover Dam Gets Antimatter Facelift

“Warp speed Mr. Sulu,” was the order given by Hoover Dam’s Chief Engineer, Michael McCarmichael, this morning at 9:01 am, as the newly renovated hydroelectric station is formally converted into the world’s first Matter-Antimatter Power Plant.

The Colorado River is now free from it’s long and honorable duty creating power for the American southwest. An admirable job done, the river’s depths have been returned to pre-1930’s levels, and the environment down stream has already markedly improved. 

The Hoover Dam’s energy creation is now done solely by smashing antimatter into matter, providing more power than ever humanly possible.

An inspiration to the United States, constructed during the Great Depression, the Hoover Dam lifted American spirits, reminding them of the continent’s majestic possibilities. Manifest Destiny made into concrete reality, nature sublimated and controlled, yet given its proper respect and sustainable, conscientious usage.  And so again, the Hoover’s facelift has given the country a new hope in durable, and limitless energy creation.

“Now there’s no limits. We have enough power to fuel American innovation for centuries. Not since the first burst of oil out of the ground, or first wind turbines on the White House roof has the nation felt power like this in the palms of its hands.” Stated Energy Department Chairman Jay John Jacobson. 

Jacobson went on speaking with a panel of top university representatives and business leaders from around the United States. SpaceX, Virgin Galactic, Blue Origin, MIT, Drexel University, Stanford, Texas A&M, Berkeley, along with many other businesses and educational pillars were in attendance at today’s grand re-opening. Numerous scientific, economic, and military projects are being discussed, and will all be free to tap into this deep new reservoir of power.

A rocket engineer for SpaceX went on to tout the possibilities of affixing their latest Prometheus vessels with antimatter drives. Saying, “With this stuff so readily available, and pretty close to our factory Gigafactories in Cali, we’re gonna start pumping out rocket engines like sausages.” She added, “We can reach Mars in 20 days easy with these bad boys. It’ll be a pleasure cruise.”

Using small amounts of antimatter, retrieved via automated space drones farming the Van Allen Belt, the price point of energy creation has finally hit feasible economic levels. Some particles are also harvested through man made weather generation, all above thunderclouds in the Nevada deserts.  At just around .01 cents per kilowatt hour, and with the antimatter core channeling at least 40% of its fuel contents into direct energy creation, the Hoover Dam will become the most efficient, and powerful reactor on the planet.

Farmer drones land at nearby spaceports in Nevada and Arizona, then sealed, automated tanker trucks deposit the fuel source in magnetic holding tanks at the base of Hoover Dam. The anti-matter mix is made on site. Protons have anti-protons. Neutrons have anti-neutrons. Electrons have anti-electrons, commonly called positrons. 

Adapting the facilities already existing turbines to harness the explosive antimatter forces took only 6 months. Tesla has provided advanced battery systems, and Amazon transport is handling the hazardous shipping procedures from space to Dam.

 A new titanium housing has been installed for safety reasons, and an additional set of cool water tanks, and heat exhausts allow the old hydroelectric station to handle the tremendous forces released within the reactors. When antimatter slams into matter, the most explosive force known to humanity is created, orders of magnitude more powerful than nuclear or hydrogen weapons. 

With the new techniques, Hoover Dam’s energy will be used for productive civil and economic purposes. A lead robotic scientist on site spit out some math for us, “The meeting of a proton and an anti-proton for example produces 9 × 1016 Joules/kilogram vs. a nuclear reaction using D + He-3 which produces hydrogen, helium, and some neutrons, yielding 3.52 × 1014 Joules/kilogram.” The science-bot added, “So, you know, that’s hella strong.”

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Of course, the Hoover Dam has now been deemed a highly guarded site in the name of National defense and security. The US Army and Space Force both have a hand in securing the station, which will remain open to visitors and tourists.

“If some of our materials fell into the wrong hands, well of course that would be terrifying, but we use the same precautions as any nuclear power plant, or military installation. We just have the added bonus of being an American landmark, and a great new wonder of the world. I know we’ll cope with it though, and keep this a place where people can visit and feel proud.” Chief Engineer McCarmichael responded when asked about the impact of all the security measures. 

Some concerned protesters were gathered outside the main gates during the re-opening ceremony, holding up signs, and chanting, “No superweapon plants in my backyard,” and “Don’t make Nevada a blackhole, it’s already got Las Vegas.”

Military Police and Nevada State Troopers cordoned off the protesters, but allowed them to gather and raise their points of view. 

In addition, there were some who wished to change the name of Dam, given Herbert Hoover’s ineffective Presidency and those who blame him directly for causing the Great Depression. “The Black Canyon Dam is the rightful name, but at this point a renaming seems pretty low on the priority list.” Stated one protesters who was wearing a funny orange hat.

So as today’s ceremony ends, and as the sun sets along the Black Canyon, people can be seen boating and fishing on the revitalized Colorado River. And if you listen closely, you can hear the steady hum of controlled explosions creating unfathomable energy from behind the walls of the great Hoover Dam. 

America’s power plant of the future promises enough energy for all, and will be a boon to nature, the economy, and humanity itself. As long as it doesn’t blow us all up in the first week of operation.

Real science papers….

Industrial Production of Positronium and Its Uses
By William Mook

BEAMED CORE ANTIMATTER PROPULSION: ENGINE DESIGN AND OPTIMIZATION Ronan L. Keane – keaner@wra.net and Wei-Ming Zhang – wzhang@kent.edu

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