Embedded on the Frontlines: The American Foreign Legion Smash Luddite Rebels

An eerie blue glow hung in the night air as every electrical transformer near Philadelphia’s Independence Hall exploded and fuzzed. While under the celestial halo, forces of the American Foreign Legion took up defensive positions dismounting from their camels. Called in to repel an insurgent threat against the city’s iconic landmark, the legionaries set up check points and combed the area for suspected radicals.

Manhandling civilians for hours before tiring, the brusque American legionnaires felt the mission to defend the sacred beacon a complete success. When questioned after all the mayhem, a local park ranger was quoted as saying he “much preferred the company of his Russian speaking squirrel family. But I’ve said too much already.”

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